So I was talking to Alexa....
& it hit me like a ton of bricks! I swear to God.


anatomicalhearts: if i could look like a musician it would be her lolzzzzzz
anatomicalhearts: she's from moscow i think?
Nicki 37mm: haha i'd be rufus.
Nicki 37mm: i'd also be gay.
anatomicalhearts: but like raised in the states
Nicki 37mm: and a man.
anatomicalhearts: and i'd be regina, and i'd try and have sex with you to make pretty piano playing babies
Nicki 37mm: lol
Nicki 37mm: XD
Nicki 37mm: I really do feel like a gay mannnnn toooo muchhhhhhh =[
Nicki 37mm: i dont love like a lady
Nicki 37mm: i want to grow up and travel all the time
Nicki 37mm: and live in the cities
Nicki 37mm: and fall in love so many times
Nicki 37mm: i dont want a permanent love for a long long time
anatomicalhearts: do it up!
Nicki 37mm: ill keep journals on it
Nicki 37mm: and start doing like art hand journals as a hobby
Nicki 37mm: and basically scrapbooking my experiences with photographs, and small things with stories ill never tell, just keep in my memory
Nicki 37mm: and this is seriously what i want to do with myself
Nicki 37mm: and idk, ill just pass them onto my children
Nicki 37mm: and tell them stories if they ask
Nicki 37mm: so the book itself just becomes a memory of me
Nicki 37mm: hahahahaa i mean i dont even care if its stupid on this, i want to just, live my life
Nicki 37mm: every day
Nicki 37mm: so badly
Nicki 37mm: i still want to work in an agency
Nicki 37mm: but that really shouldnt be a problem
Nicki 37mm: maybe if i can be good enough
Nicki 37mm: to be a freelance artist
Nicki 37mm: and ill live in a bohemian lifestyle, where i only make the money when i need it
Nicki 37mm: and the money i make when i make tooonnnns on the friggen freelance services cuz they're paid more
Nicki 37mm: ill just throw into traveling
Nicki 37mm: and sdhsflkdfhldkjh
anatomicalhearts: and cigarettes!
Nicki 37mm: lol
Nicki 37mm: and booze
Nicki 37mm: but yeah
Nicki 37mm: im not gonna lie i'd probobly fuck around with drugs, but i dont care, because we only live once
anatomicalhearts: ehh i just want to be a club legend!
Nicki 37mm: do it!
Nicki 37mm: god i really dont want to settle down
Nicki 37mm: and live practically
Nicki 37mm: thats really not me
Nicki 37mm: idk what the fuck i was thinking everytime i get in highschool relationships
Nicki 37mm: because there's so many places ive wanted to visit
Nicki 37mm: so many things i've wanted to experience
Nicki 37mm: people to meet
anatomicalhearts: exactly!
anatomicalhearts: and like... that's why it's hard with dennis for me right now
Nicki 37mm: and im never going to be happy if i live the way i'd planned with shane
Nicki 37mm: and daniel
Nicki 37mm: and etc.
anatomicalhearts: because he went through this
anatomicalhearts: and like he moves to seattle on a whim
anatomicalhearts: and did x
anatomicalhearts: and messed around with drugs
anatomicalhearts: and sex
anatomicalhearts: and like met lots of people
anatomicalhearts: and he doesnt understand me wanting to do all this
anatomicalhearts: because he's already done it
Nicki 37mm: im not going to settle until im damn ready to settle.
anatomicalhearts: and dksghsgsjfgh
Nicki 37mm: oh wow, yeah
anatomicalhearts: it's my turn!
Nicki 37mm: yea
Nicki 37mm: i want to live!!!!
Nicki 37mm: srsly!
Nicki 37mm: 'people who just want to spend their entire lives
anatomicalhearts: thats the only problem with the age thing mostly
Nicki 37mm: in some part of the country
Nicki 37mm: or suburbia
Nicki 37mm: and just have kids
anatomicalhearts: bleh
Nicki 37mm: and do nothing but raise a family
Nicki 37mm: its sweet
Nicki 37mm: but it's
Nicki 37mm: disgusting
Nicki 37mm: i think i'd kill myself by the age of 30
Nicki 37mm: not necessarily like suicide
Nicki 37mm: but i'd do so many stupid things to get the hell out of it
Nicki 37mm: brb i need to smokeee a cigarette
anatomicalhearts: k
Nicki 37mm: =]
anatomicalhearts: wtf i hope tj doesnt ditch usszzzz
Nicki 37mm: me toooo
Nicki 37mm: i dont want to be comfortable for the rest of my life
Nicki 37mm: the more i thnk on it
Nicki 37mm: i really want tobe free
Nicki 37mm: maybe i do have the 'heart of an artist' im just too scared to use it
Nicki 37mm: but i want to
Nicki 37mm: i dont want to stop until i burn out
Nicki 37mm: not like deadbeat burn out
Nicki 37mm: but like, yea
Nicki 37mm: i hate schedules i dont like following time
Nicki 37mm: i hate it, all of it, and i hate routine and i dont want to be a creature of habbit
Nicki 37mm: i like messes, i like chaos, i love living out of a suitcase when i travel
Nicki 37mm: i hate making plansnssssss